I'm going to get deep by maintaining the shallow. Make sense? Didn't think so.
Why do I obsess over materialistic things? The old adage states that guns do not kill people, people kill people. What responsibility does a luxury item hold? It is what it is (another tired saying). What is a Louis Vuitton trunk aside from an exceptionally crafted piece of luggage, created with care & love with only the best materials? It's people who regard luxury items as worth more than they may actually be. I'm tired of people. Things, that's where my heart is. Never have I been left by a purse. I have never caught a wallet calling me outside of my name. My shoes have never broken a promise. And with zero emotional pain, there is all the room in the world for beauty.
The beauty is even more than the piece. Do I need lambskin leather or 24 karat gold plated silver to carry my belongings? No. But in the beauty of the piece is the beauty of my ability to obtain it. Unfortunately, I have looked in the mirror and deemed myself worthless. It was my fault for feeling that way, and my fault for allowing mistreatment by others to affect how I saw myself. That is no longer the case, those feelings are long gone. Every gaze at my luxury collection is a powerful reminder that I am independent. I am able to manage my finances, my life, my priorities. And with that self discipline, as well as many blessings, I am able to afford and maintain my own lifestyle adorned with pieces that aren't essential.
Before, I put most of my efforts into showcasing my love for others with gifts. And for what? It was a way of bribing those I love to stay around me. Well, it didn't work. I've accepted that either my plain self isn't enough to keep them invested in my life, or that their love language doesn't include partaking in my world at all. Either or, it's okay. I'm not focused on that. My mind is set on myself, learning how to better myself... how to reward myself.
No longer am I seeking the time of others, the reciprocating of others. I have been supporting myself for quite some time now. And my newfound love of luxury items is symbolic of the shift in my life from looking to others for love, to loving my own self. And I'm lovely.